Us white folks are so flummoxed by the idea that multiple Black men could de-escalate a conflict in public like Denzel Washington and others did because we are shamefully invested in a public narrative about how unreasonably violent Black men are. After all, aren’t Black men so dangerous that even fully armed grown adults in bulletproof vests with months of training fear for their lives just looking at them?
We had an entire fucking social movement about it in 2020 if anybody remembers. We finally confronted the idea that white people consent to the prison industrial complex and fascist policing because deep down we do believe there is something about Black folks and other people of color that renders them unpredictably dangerous. The unspoken part of this lie is the idea that white people do not also possess this characteristic. We do. That’s why we invented the cops. They are our depersonalized unpredictable violence.
Why aren’t we talking about the fact that the show went on? That Will’s friends pulled him aside, helped him realize how he was being received and the evening went on without further incident? If Leonardo DiCaprio had talked George Clooney out of slapping the shit out of Ben Affleck Joe Biden would invite them to the White House. They would be heralded as scions of the New Healthy Masculinity. I can see the Time magazine cover now.
But white supremacy and white culture do not allow for forgiveness, mistakes, resolution or healing. Backed by the mindfuck that is Christian theology, it is all punishment all the time. Your worst mistakes define you forever and if you don’t carry the guilt of them with you at all times you are damned. Despite being told that due to your god’s perfection you are forgiven for all eternity. But keep flagellating yourself!
Personally, I don’t think my opinion on whether or not this was appropriate matters so I won’t really share it. It did prompt a discussion between my girlfriend and I about how we should respond to harassment or threats from outside parties. That’s a really great discussion for a lot of couples to have but especially marginalized couples. What I do think is worth noting is why white people have fixated on this part of the narrative, the so-called unpredictable violence of Black men, instead of the resolution. Personally, I think it’s because the slap was the only part of the narrative that reinforces the idea that Black men are dangerous.
Queer Pandemic 